Don't worry you'll get through it....

...I'm kinda of sick of hearing that. Well, for those that don't know I was in another accident last Monday and I wrecked my truck. Worst of all it was my fault. I ran was looking in my side mirror to change lanes and thought the lady beside me was going through the light also.

She wasn't. I looked up and didn't even see the light and then I saw a Ford 500 sedan coming at me and we collided. The worst part? It was a 65 year-old grandma. Yeah, I felt like shit. Luckily everyone was okay and she had a baby seat in the back, but luckily no baby.

Another truck is dead at my hand. Needless to say I have been pretty bummed the last week. I am sure people on the bus are saying to themselves,

"Damn, that guy looks sad and pissed."

The weird thing is, I am a good driver. At least I thought I was. That got me thinking back to all the other times I should have had a wreck/died or gone to jail:

Junior (?) Year High School- My Uncle lets me have his '76 International Scout to drive. It is awesome (like the old school chevy blazers, big bastard) it was cream-cicle orange and white and had tiger print seat covers. I took the hard top off and had no roll cage or anything. I am driving down a dirt road home from a friend's and go around a tight turn, and an asshole has his brights on and I can't see and swerve of the road into a ditch, flippin this huge beast on its side, again with NO ROOF OR ROLL CAGE. The only thing that saved me from being slung through a barbed wire fence was one LAP BELT, not a shoulder one, a f-ing LAP BELT.

-Pledging 2002- the night i take people home and we pass by a house that someone had run their car into. Like into the living room. We pass it and I pull up to stop light and a cop comes up behind me. He turns his lights on and comes up to the window. I control the urge to shite and roll down the window. The cop is an ass, but obviously a dumb one because he doesn't even get me out of the car. He just says, "Slow down! We don't need anymore WEINERS driving into houses tonight." I SWEAR HE SAID WEINERS.

Pleding 2003- After a hearty night of "camping", the last thing I remember is spitting Bacardi 151 into a fire and making a fire ball, My roomie and I finally wake up and begin driving around the pledges (who are on top of scaffolding, don't ask) and taunting them. We are still very drunk. I say, " Less go get sum Allsups, Dude." And we peel out away from the pledges and I hear a loud noise, mind you I don't look in my rear view mirror, I get out of the truck and examine. Somehow, my tailgate came unhinged and I was dragging it for about 200 ft. Do we decide maybe its good we don't go into to town? Noooo, I strap the sumamabitch back on and me and Heptig go to Merkel at 7:30 in the morning, drunk and steal burritos and Snickers from Allsups.

Pledging 2005- (do we see a pattern?) As a ritual we drove pledges around with bags on their head ( I know, I know. It was Abilene, what else was there to do?), play loud music and basically make them regret for a few moments to agreeing to pledge. One night I had a lil beotch in my truck and I said to him (this has a witness):

"Reach out in front of you. You feel that handle? That's an Oh-Shit bar, you might want to grab it, it's about to be that kinda situation."

We haul ass down the street and hit a bump at about 35 mph. He rammed his head into the roof of the truck. I thought I knocked him out. I swear I saw the fear in the guy's face through the bag.

Well....those are some the stories I remember, maybe it is a good idea that my new car say "City Bus" on the side. Have a good day and.... can I have a ride?